Dear Addis Admass readers, a bit late to say, but still, “Melkem Addis Amet! (A Happy New Year)” In spite of all those sad incidents that happened last year, I hope people at last had a moment of relaxation and happiness together with their loved ones.

On the New Year’s celebration, many people complained about high price of feast ingredients. Perhaps some people had to celebrate with doro (chicken) instead of bug (sheep) or limit the number of eggs in their wot (stew).

Even though their table became less crowded than before, those who were able to celebrate are fortunate. I wish their happiness was also shared with others. As Maya Angelou said, “you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back”.

On the New Year’s Eve, I went to a place near Teke Haimanot Church to visit a woman named Yemisrach. It was one of the poorest neighborhoods that I have seen in Addis. As soon as I stepped into the filthy and crowded community, my legs wanted to take a u-turn and escape.

Yemisrach is a poor woman. I met her 3 years ago on my way to work. I used to walk everyday to my office around Mexico, passing by at least 20 beggars, a variety of them.

Teenage boy with skinny paralyzed legs, a woman with an elephant like swollen legs, a woman who had big lump on her throat, a man showing his reddish swollen bellybutton, another man who frantically shakes his fingerless hands, and a half naked tearful woman showing her bust holding Jesus Christ’s icon.

There were also those invisible sufferers from children to grand parents sleeping or sitting on the street. With the various expressions of misfortunes, the place was like a display of suffering, certainly abnormal scene I had never experience until I came to Ethiopia.

Yemisrach was among them sitting on the street holding her baby completely wrapped with her natala. She caught my attention being hilarious and energetic above all those depressed looking beggars. I wondered if she was really suffering from something.

One day I saw her selling tissue for one–birr. That was an exciting and impressive incident for me. Then I became her regular customer. As I did not want to just give money to these beggars, I started to buy her tissues without hesitation. I was wishing she could step up.

Unfortunately, few months later, Yemisrach went back to begging. Later she told me that she was not selling much and could not manage the money properly. She said begging was better for her.

Nevertheless, going back to a begging made her looked much depressed. She was no longer smiling, just looked at the air with no expression. Watching her like that was painful. As I did not want to see her energy light bulb turn off, I came up with proposition; to hire her as a live-in housemaid.

However, when I was ready to take her to my house, I lost the sight of her around Mexico. It was a time when Addis was about to hold the inauguration of new African Union and the city began to clean the area to look more attractive and perhaps swept away beggars who were on the streets where the limousines would pass by. I regretted of not acting quicker, but soon after the AU meeting, I found her again in her usual spot.

When my Ethiopian friend explained to her that I want to let her live in my compound as a housemaid, Yemisrach paused for a while then suddenly she knelt down and started kissing my shoes. Certainly, it was a great offer as she told to me later the bed she was renting for 20 birr a month was no longer affordable after she was kicked out of Mexico due to the AU meeting.

The first night, when I was laying on my bed, I could hear her unpacking her 2 small bags at her small, but comfortable room. She was giggling as she was speaking to her baby Alemayu, a 2-years-old little, lovely and shy boy. I was happy to hear their joyous voice, but at the same time, I was a bit anxious, “what am I doing? Start living with the stranger, a former beggar,” and wondered if I could be optimistic about it.

Soon after, I realized how difficult the plan was. I thought it would be easier as there were not much jobs for her in my house. I did not make barebare (hot spices) or kwanta (dried meats) in my home; I did not need to have farenji (foreign) dishes; and my room was small and I could clean it by myself (besides I could not trust her going into my room). So her tasks were doing the laundry, cleaning and cook some Ethiopian food.

She was fast and good in laundry, but she couldn’t cook and clean properly. As she used to eat same kind of food almost everyday back in her village, she could not prepare a variety of food that I happened to know more Ethiopian dishes than her. When it comes to the cleaning, as one could imagine, her standard and mine were totally different.

The problem was I did not have a capacity and time to teach her. So I hired another lady ,Etenesh, as a supervisor. Etenesh was also a beggar and she used to do my laundry before Yemisrach .

Etenesh was sitting quietly in my neighborhood. Whenever I passed by, she would make a slight bow, but never asked for money or mercy from me. She had a son about 10 years old. I often see him around playing soccer with boys from the wealthy neighborhood. He does not look very poor like his mother. My neighbor told me that Etenesh does not want her child to beg and even do shoe-shining job. She just wants him to attend school regularly. He was everything for her. I was moved by her story and since I did not have a housemaid, I started asking her to do my laundry.

At the beginning, I asked both Etenesh and Yemisrach to do the laundry together. However, my laundry was too small to engage two females, so I thought it was good idea to make Etenesh supervise the house works. They soon became good friends. They were not competing rather their opposite characters made them snuggle each other.

Yemisrach is from the very remote area and wears green dress that villagers clad. She does not know her exact age but she seems in her mid 20s or younger. She is spontaneous, hilarious, spoke very loudly and blatantly, and she seems very proud of herself. 2 years ago when she got pregnant of an unwanted child, her relatives who brought her to Addis as their housemaid kicked her out. She then began her street life.

On the other hand, Etenesh is from Addis in her late 30s. She speaks softly and has mild personality. She is much brighter than Yemisrach. She used to work as a housemaid but after she became pregnant her employer fired her and unfortunately, the man who promised her to get married run away. So she ended up in the street.

Her eyes were thoughtful, sometimes seeing far distance; probably she had suffered a lot in these 10 years of sitting on the street. The only thing she had not given up seems her son. She had a strong determination. I knew she was saving money for him as much as possible, so I could not tell her to stop sitting on the street for mercy when she is not at home supervising Yemisrach.

Etenesh was a good supervisor for Yemisrach. Still the job was too small for two people, so I had to create some works for them. I asked Etenesh if she has skills that she can teach Yemisrach. She said she can make sefeid (a round flat basket used to place injera) and dantel (knitting), so I bought the materials for them. Hoping that their materials would be good, I was thinking ways to help them sell their material.

However, their products were like children’s works and it took them more than a month to finish one bed cover, so I simply gave up the idea of selling. It was good to hear them laughing and having peaceful time knitting together, but I was irritated by their slow work and bad quality as I wanted them to be independent, able to work after I leave Ethiopia in 6 months.

I wanted especially Yemisrach to learn as much as possible. I found out that she never had attended school, so I hired my friend who was economically weak to tutor her reading and writing.

My friend was a fashionable girl around 20 years of age. She and Yemisrach seemed to get along well at the beginning. Sometimes I saw Yemisrach happily wearing red manicure, introduced by her tutor. But the tutor started to complain She said Yemisrach was not paying attention to her lesson, she always starts tachawach (talking). I told her that Yemisrach never attended school, so she does not understand the sit and learn environment. My friend understood and put more effort to teach her, at least how to read numbers as Yemisrach could not dial the phone nor distinguish the number of Ambassa city bus. But several weeks later, the teacher came to my office crying. She said she genuinely wanted to help Yemisrach, it was not only about the money, but Yemisrach refused to learn from her.

Unable to find another tutor, I started teaching Yemisrach every night after my work. I sat with Yemisrach and shuffled the trump size card with numbers from 1 to 9 written in each and asked her to read. I gave her homework to write down as well. But it was difficult and seemed never to end. I should have been more patient like a parent teaching to the child, but at that time, I could not and I was just accumulating stress.

Like her numbers, her housework also was not improving despite Etenesh’s supervision. She was messy, broke things, forgot to close the water faucet or even worse the house gate. All these things were a headache for me that I was starting emotionally tired of living with her.

However, I did not blame her entirely. The world she used to live was totally different from mine. My friend used to tell me imagine if you start living in the countryside where you need to carry a heavy water bucket on your head. So I tried to understand and be more patient.

Of course, besides the difficulties, we also had laughs and great time living together. There was a time when my parents visited Ethiopia and they were first shocked to discover who I live with. But, regardless of my parents’ suspicion, Yemisrach and Etenesh bought popcorns and bread out of their pocket and welcomed them with a coffee ceremony. My parents were truly moved by that. They never thought of being invited for coffee by such poor people in their lives. After Baraka (the last drink), my mother even danced Isksta (traditional dance) with them. My parents said that was the best coffee they have ever had in their lives.

The gap between Yemisrach and I was beyond my control especially at times when I come home with great stress from my works. If I had had more space in my life and had been matured, I could have handled the situation better. But regretfully, I couldn’t. My Ethiopian friends told me not to suffer and tolerate too much if she could not meet my expectations. I thought of firing her several times, but then I could not. I tried to find the people who could hire her, but nobody wanted to. At last, my friends said do not feel guilty of firing her.

Finally, after living with her for almost 6 months and when my contract in Ethiopia was about to end in few more months, I told Yemisrach that she can’t work for me anymore. Actually, every time I threatened to fire her after she did something wrong, she said the decision is all mine, I thought she would say she would improve her works and asked me not to fire her. Although I did not realize it then now I understand that she accepted and took it as part of her life.

I asked her what would be her plan. It makes my heart ache when I think of asking her such a cruel question. Because I should have known that she did not even have the capability to decide. It is like asking an 8 year old child for his/her life plan.

She said she wanted to go back to her village she was kicked out from for the reason which in my opinion was unacceptable. She would not accused of any thing if she was living in my country. In Addis, nobody wanted to hire a single woman with a baby. I remembered while sitting for a coffee with Yemisrach and Etenesh, my mother said if she was born in Ethiopia, she could be in their position.

When I asked Yemisrach if she wanted to go back to her village, she used to respond that she wanted to live in Addis as her village is too poor even in comparison with her begging life in Addis. Besides, she said there is no good education for her child there. However, for the first time, she was saying that she wanted to go back. I guessed she was tired and she must have missed her family and the sceneries that she was dreaming about. And perhaps the optimistic part of her was whispering the possibility of something could be changed.

At the time of her departure, she didn’t only carry those 2 small bags that she came home with. I gave her things that her hands were full of stuffs and in her pocket had enough money from me. We said our goodbyes with tears and strong hugs.

3 weeks after she left, I was still feeling bad about letting her go. I wondered if that was really a best decision. My friends were comforting me, telling me at least you gave her 6 months of peace among other things.

Then, when I was walking around Mexico. I heard somebody across the street shouting my name. I saw Yemisrach carrying her baby, smiling. Obviously, she was begging on the street again. I was shocked and furious at the same time, I automatically ignored her and could not even look back. “What is she doing in Mexico again? If she is in trouble, she could have called me”. My friends concluded that it is her choice to be back on the street and I should not further interfere. I felt betrayed.

The next day, I saw her again, sitting on the street. But, after few days, she started to sell lottery. She no longer called my name but, when I saw her, she turned her face down, as if she did not see me; she seemed ashamed. After a while, she was not on the street anymore. The time flew very quickly with my busy works and soon I left Ethiopia.

As for Etenesh, I was able to find the person who was interested to hire her as a housemaid before I left Ethiopia. Besides, some people in my neighborhood also started giving her some small jobs like collecting trashes. I knew her life had improved a bit, so I was not worried too much. She was also a better survivor in Addis. But I did not want to think about Yemisrach.

I was studying in Europe and I started to prepare to return to and work in Ethiopia after a year. The cities in Europe were of course much different from Addis. The roads were clean with no hassles from beggars, people were drinking coffee peacefully in the terrace of the cafes listening to jazz music. Ethiopia was so far away for me that I felt as if I was dreaming for 2 years.

Once in a while, Yemisrach and Alemayu cross my mind. When I saw their photos, I felt guilty for unable to making their life better. I could not create a happy ending story.

So, when I came back Ethiopia to conduct my dissertation for 2 months, in last summer I decided to search for Yemisrach again. My friends said occasionally they saw her in Mexico, begging.

Mexico was still the same with beggars with some new faces. One beggar told me that Yemisrach occasionally comes around the evening. So when the place was about to be dark, I found her sitting on the street. We hugged, she asked me how I am doing and how my parents are. Her face was thinner and Alemayu was in a deep sleep covered up in her natala inspite of all the noise around.

Few days later, I invited Yemisrach and Etenesh to one Ethiopian lady’s house who volunteered to help me with translation. Etenesh said she was not able to work as a housemaid as the house was too far for her, but she said she was doing fine, doing some small jobs for neighbors, part-time begging , so I was a bit relieved.

Yemisrach told me an astonishing story. After she left my house, she said she went back to her village, but she stayed there only for 15 days. She reunited with her blind father, she learnt that her mother had passed away, and the family was too poor to welcome her with Alemayu. So she decided to return to Addis with optimistic and immature hope that she may find another opportunity.

She left all the clothes, money and other things that I had given to her with her family and came back. Of course, there were no opportunities for her. She tried to sell something, but again, she could not handle money and went back to begging.

Begging with Alemayu who was growing up and requesting more to eat was not an easy task and poor people around her were advising her to get married to somebody who could support her. They said there was a man who earned about 10 birr a day and he was looking for a bride who could have his child. He was a blind beggar, but she decided to marry him.

With witnesses, the couple signed a contract, which states that he will support her if she gives birth to his child. The couple then got married after they had HIV test. I was shocked to hear all that but it was too late for me to change anything as she was already pregnant.

She said her husband was haiylegna saratenya (a hard worker) who works (begs) from 7 am until 9 pm that she only had to beg once in a while. She only showed up during holidays when people drop more money especially around the church.

The lady who was translating her story was a philanthropist and she was particularly concerned about Alemayu, who may not be treated fairly by his step father. She asked Yemisrach if she wanted to give Alemayu for adoption. She replied “only death will separate me from my child”.

Her decision may be immoral, but at least she no longer needs to beg all the time on the smoggy streets with Alemayu. She never called the man as her “husband”, but referred him as sew yew (the man). It was obvious that she did not love him, but at least she said the man had good personality. Despite her thinner face, she said she was doing fine. So I took her words and left Ethiopia again with much better feeling.

In March, I came back Ethiopia to work for the development of this country. I kept in touch with Yemisrach and Etenesh, calling and meeting them once in a while. Etenesh appeared much better off, wearing nicer clothes. She even started to wear some earrings, even though she still hangs out in the same neighborhood. Recently, I gave Etenesh a set for knitting, and told her that if she did something, I could buy her products.

Yemisrach on the other hand, called and told me that she gave birth to an adorable baby – like Alemayu. That was a guarantee for her to live with Alemayu. I assumed that Yemisrach has been taken care of by the man.

Right before the New Year, Yemisrach called, asking whether I could cover tuition of Alemayu, who will be starting school this year. I once told her that I could support Alemayu’s schooling. She said the amount is 15 birr as I know the public school here is supposed to be free, but actually the schools ask to pay 15 up to 50 birr annual fee for school construction.

However, after knowing that the blind man was earning around 10 birr a day, I could not understand why her husband could not pay for the school. She said her husband was not willing as Alemayu is not his child. Besides, the recent inflation had made their life difficult.

Later she told me that this 15 birr is a “monthly” fee. I became suspicious and wondered if she started taking advantage of me or something. Then I decided to visit her house, see how she was living, meet her husband. Then on the New Years eve, I spent a whole afternoon in her house around Tekle Haimanot Church.

Her neighbors obviously looked very curious about my presence. I wished they would not think that I brought any good news or money for them and be jealous of Yemisrach.

I and my friend who joined me to translate went inside the dark small room without window. The light bulb is not to be used during daytime to save electricity. I hardly see things inside even with my eye glasses. There were a two story beds, which Yemisrach and her family rented the bottom for 40 birr a month and the upper one is rented by another family. Almost 1m x 2m space aside from the bed was the only space left which was for cooking, eating, and do everything else for two families.

I did not want it, but the woman from the other family was joining our conversation. The woman was very thin but had a big stomach from the pregnancy of her third child. I did not want to know more about her life as I did not have a capacity to be involved.

I asked Yemisrach about the tuition fee. I found out that she did not know the difference between private and public school that she simply asked the private school. We told her to go for the public school and I convinced her that she should not give up sending Alemayu to school, reminding her what she said once. She had told me a few years ago that she preferred to live in Addis to send Alemayehu to school. I emphasized that without education, Alemayu would be poor just like she was.

To my surprise, she told me that Alemayu had been rebellious and was not listening to her and she was then willing to give him for adoption. Frustration with how immature and ignorant she could be, I told her that the boy was only 5 years old and if he started going to school, he would also learn to behave. I wished the man could support the tuition, but he refused.

The visit proved what kind of person she was and reminded myself that I was also too optimistic. I also felt that I have a responsibility and desire to see her and her two children having better life. After all, seeing her community living in such poverty, I felt bad on the entire New Year day.

So what I have done at the beginning of this year was first, I took Yemisrach to a clinic because she was saying her stomach ached after the operation she had when giving birth to her second child.

Secondly, for the tuition, she called me back that two public schools, 15-20 birr a year, in her neighborhood were fully occupied so she instead found the private school for 5 birr a month. Rather than giving her the money, I gave her pack of tissues that I bought from the poor people in Mexico for her to sell and cover the tuition. However, that was my temporarily plan.

Thirdly, I called some NGOs if they could help her or give her training. I told them that I could cover the training fee, but they all said that Yemisrach does not meet their criteria to be supported.

Now, I am thinking what else and how I am going to support them. I am back again, but hopefully, I would create the happy ending story this time.

(names have been changed)